« October 2004 | Main | December 2004 »

November 30, 2004

Pay No Attention To The War Behind the Curtain

So Sen. Norm Coleman (R-MN) takes on Kofi Annan in an opinion piece to be published in tomorrow's Wall Street Journal.

He alleges that the UN has fallen all to shambles under Annan's leadership - mentioning sexual harassment scandals, and lambasting the failure of the Oil for Food program in Iraq, and its supposed contribution to Saddam's strength.

So, really, you see, it's Koffi Annan's fault we had to go and invade Iraq. And he should quit. Norm says so:

If this widespread corruption had occurred in any legitimate organization around the world, its CEO would have been ousted long ago, in disgrace. Why is the U.N. different?

Why? Um, because it's the freakin' UN Norm. Plus, you did hear about Enron right? That model didn't really work there . . .

But hey, at least his wife's a hottie.

Posted by Drew at 9:09 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Foreign Relations files . . .

Euthenasia in Holland

Start your Drudge Timer, 'cause this is exactly the sort of thing that he'll banner across his front page.

A Dutch hospital, already known for codifying the ethical steps for medical Euthanasia has proposed guidelines for euthanasia of terminally ill newborns and announced that several have already taken place. The guidelines also cover other patients decreed to be "with no free will".

Personally, I'm not at all sure how I feel about this. While from a purely libertarian standpoint, I firmly believe in people's right to decide how they live or die, and while I completely support a woman's right to choose to end an unwanted pregnancy - what of those unable to make the decision themselves?

Certainly in this country's current moral climate this will never become a public issue here - however we can, as the story intimates, assume that euthanasia in many forms already occurs here. Following the concept of "humane" treatment, physicians will suspend heroic measures and allow people to pass quietly, and codifying the ethical constraints for this would protect physicians.

UPDATE:Told 'ya so:http://www.DrudgeReport.com

Posted by Drew at 11:33 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Health Cares files . . .

Ridge Runner

Director of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge will announce his resignation today, perhaps opening the way for Sen. Joe Liberman to become the administration's token Democratic appointee.

There has been some speculation that Liberman might be tapped to head the Department of Homeland Security - tthe creation of which he championed in the senate.

Posted by Drew at 10:46 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Homeland Insecurities files . . .

False Prophets and Teachers

Why are schools across the country disclaiming evolution?

SFGate has a piece on one school board's decision to mandate "Intelligent Design" - which is pretty much intended to undermine the teaching of Evolution.

Is this yet another sign of anti-intelecutalism or just a sign of the burgeoning religious state mentality of a large number of Americans.

Posted by Drew at 10:37 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Church and State files . . .

Bush In Canada

Our uncomplicated president is visiting our neighbors to the north this week, trying to patch up relations with Canada.

While in Ottawa, he'll be meeting with the PM Paul Martin, and with the Queen's Representative, Governor General Adrienne Clarkson. He will not, however, be speaking to the house of Commons. Why? I'm not kidding here, they're afraid that the country's duly elected parliamentarians won't be able to resist the temptation to make fun of him.

Posted by Drew at 9:54 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Foreign Relations files . . .

Washington's Governor (Still)

Well, the Washington Gubernatorial Election will be certified today - giving Republican Din Rossi a 42 vote margin of victory.

The state's Democratic party has until Friday to request a recount - but they'll have to pay for it - and they apparently don't have the nearly $700,000 required to finance the hand recount.

Posted by Drew at 9:38 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Local Politics files . . .

November 29, 2004

Abu Guantánamo

The New York Times is covering a Red Cross report that alleges prisoner abuse at Guantánamo Bay.

The military is holding some 500 or more "detainees" at the Navy base in Cuba. Many is not all been designated "Enemy Combatants" meaning that in the eyes of our new attorney general, the Geneva Convention rules for the treatment of prisoners of war do not apply - nor apparently do the rules set forth in the U.S. Constitution.

Posted by Drew at 9:19 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Homeland Insecurities files . . .

A Record Nobody Wants to Break

November's U.S. casualties in Iraq could be the worst yet.

Current DoD death toll for the month stands at 133 with one day left. The deadliest month so far was last April, with 135 troops fallen.

It's not getting any better. And if it's not getting better - really - it can only get worse.

Posted by Drew at 4:35 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Iraq files . . .

Husband and Wife Legislative Team

George and Sharon Runner will become California's first and only married legislators when they're sworn in on December 6th. Oh an a warning, the story is one of those that's so sickly sweet you'll probably want to brush afterwards.

No, not the first legislators who are married. The first who are married to each other. Yes, I know it's an awkward sentence. Thank you.

The Republican Runners will not share the same house - legislatively that is - George is a Senator, while Sharon is a member of the state's Assembly.

Posted by Drew at 2:52 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Local Politics files . . .

How to Fix What's Broken

Though the blogosphere has already beaten this to death - I really think it's a pretty great list of ways to fix the Democratic Party.

Posted by Drew at 2:44 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Democrats files . . .

Secretary of Commerce: Carlos Gutierrez

Bush nominated cereal king Carlos Gutierrez as Commerce Secretary this morning.

Gutierrez, a Cuban immigrant, has been serving as CEO of Kellogg - where he (according to Bush)

began working for Kellogg as a truck driver delivering Frosted Flakes to local stores and began rising through the ranks

Ensuring that we all know that Mr. Gutierrez isn't an east coast liberal effete, but a "self made man" - exactly like Mr. Bush himself.

Posted by Drew at 10:25 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Republicans files . . .

Court Won't Hear Gay Marrige Challenge

The Supreme Court refused to hear a challenge to the Massachusetts law that allows gay marriage.

This, we should note, does not in any way prevent further challenges. The court appears (I'm doing a little more research now) to have refused to hear the case because the plaintiffs had no basis by which to bring a challenge.

Posted by Drew at 9:08 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the The Supremes files . . .

November 28, 2004

They Want Your Data

There's a proposal on the table to keep a federal database of university enrollment records.

Why? I'm not really sure. . . .

The change would also allow federal officials to track individual students as they journey through the higher education system. In recent years, increasing numbers of students have been attending more than one university, dropping out or taking longer than the traditional four years to graduate. Current reporting practices cannot capture such trends; a mobile student is recorded as a new student at each institution.

So in order to go to college, you'll have to get into big brother's books.

Posted by Drew at 8:21 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Privacy Rights files . . .

U.S. Corporate Terrorism- Literally!

According to the Foundation for the Defense of Democracies corporate giants such as Coke, Pepsi, Western Union, Proctor and Gamble and others are paying for advertisements on Al-Manar television. Al Manar is a station based out Lebanon founded by Hizbollah.

Al Manar makes Al Jazeera look like PBS. They regularly air calls for the destruction of the "Zionist Etity" by showing men masked in kefiyas with grenade launchers definatly fighting the "Zionist Entity" to folk songs in the background. Al Manar also regularly calls for the killing of American troops fighting in Iraq and generally labels the United States as a beast of nations longing for blood according to Avi Jorisch of the Foundation for the Defense of Democracies.

How did W and the Republicans run a campaign based on their "undaunted" support for the war on terrorism and fail to notice that some of its biggest corporate chronies are paying for a terrorist television stations that regularly call for violence against the United States?

Perhaps these colors do run when there is a whole heap of cash involved.

For more information go to www.defenddemocracy.org

-MGV

Posted by MGV at 7:16 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Our Corporate Masters! files . . .

November 27, 2004

How do you plan to pay for that?

Why is that a question that no one ever asks Republicans?

The White House admidts that it has no idea how it will pay for Social Security Privatization. So far, pretty much everyone thinks that the scheme will require a lot of borrowing, which was something that I was always taught was sort of at odds with "fiscal responsibility".

Are these people still conservatives? Is this really a conservative plan? Anyone, anyone?

Posted by Drew at 10:10 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the General Politics files . . .

Still Playing Hooky

SCOTUS Chief Justice William Rehnquist will still be out recovering from surgery when post holiday oral arguments resume Monday morning. The Chief of the long suffering Black Robes has been ailing for sometime, but his worsening health, and longer then expected convalescence have furthered speculation that there will soon be a new Chief Justice (to play the acronym game, thats CJOSCOTUS, or something like that).

Who'll it be? Well, W done took Gonzo out of the runing by appointing him AG, and there are plenty of sites more leagal than we speculating as to whom will be the first to get the nod. However, in the question of Rehnquist's replacement, I still think it far more likely that one of the current associates will be elevated, and replaced, then a complete newbie be appointed to the center seat.

Posted by Drew at 6:05 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the The Supremes files . . .

The Decay of Yushchenko

If any of you have been following the events in Urakraine, you already know that politics in this former Soviet republic is a contact sport. But this, well, it just got all that much weirder.

Remember a long few months back, when the Republican noise machine spent a lot of time showing John Kerry windsurfing, and made comments about him having Botox treatments?

Well how's this for an appearance change:

[AFP/AP Photo]

Viktor Yushchenko has aged 30 years in four months - and there's a pretty good chance he was poisoned.

Posted by Drew at 8:39 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Foreign Relations files . . .

November 26, 2004

Friedman Out

Stephen Friedman, the chair of the Nation Economic Council, and someone generally considered to be Bush's top economic advisor is leaving the NEC. Friedman will be returning to the "private sector" which is different from the bush administration, exactly, how?

Friedman replaced Lawrence Lindsey about the same time the administration gave Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neil the boot.

Other economic advisers are now expected to resign or be shown the door - including the chair of the Council of Economic Advisors - Greg Mankiw - who per Reuters and the AP is expected to resign early next year.

Posted by Drew at 10:03 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the The Economy Stupid! files . . .

They're not done yet!

Well, we may have jumped the gun yesterday (or was that the day before?), because it looks like the Washington State Governor's Race isn't over after all.

With just a 42 vote margin favoring the republican candidate, it now seems pretty likely that Democrat Christine Gregiore will request a hand recount. The automatic recount that resulted in the 42 vote lead was handled by machine.

Posted by Drew at 9:41 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Local Politics files . . .

November 25, 2004

How do you like them odds . . .

In the fall elections, corporate PACs gave to Republicans over Democrats 10 to 1.

Of 268 corporate PAC's that donated $100,000 or more to presidential and Congressional candidates from January 2003 through the middle of last month, 245 gave the majority of their contributions to Republicans, according to an analysis released Wednesday by Political Money Line, a nonpartisan campaign finance tracking service.

Twenty-three corporate PAC's made more than half their donations to Democrats, according to the study, based on the most recent campaign finance reports available.

Is this really a surprise? Not at all - but of course it's always nice to have hard numbers to back up what you previously thought was just rampant liberal paranoia. . .

Posted by Drew at 10:44 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Buy Your Own Democracy files . . .

Thanksgiving

So you're a liberal. It's Thanksgiving. Looking pensively, and not a little self-righteously, over your organic union-picked squash, mashed heirloom potatoes, and cruelty-free Tofurky, you're wondering exactly what the hell it is you have to be thankful for this year. I mean, you feel you've been screwed by about 51% of the country.

After you gave your all to a guy you probably didn't really like, not just voting for him, but volunteering and burning all your cell phone minutes making calls to Ohio for him,he still lost.

Out of a mix of guilt that you didn't do enough four years ago, and fear that your name is on some list somewhere, you've given that money you were going to use for a backcountry Nordic ski trip to the ACLU.

There's a war on, and it's not a good "fighting the Nazis" kind of war.

And to cap it off, in about 13 states, a bunch of your friends (and maybe you) have been told that they're second class citizens because they happen to like people of the same sex - in that way, you know what I mean?

Oh, and that guy? The president? He still looks like a smirking chimp.

So really, what the hell is there to be thankful for? Opportunity. You know, the Horatio Alger, pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps kind of opportunity. The American dream, that's what.

We have opportunity to start over. We can stop wallowing in our abysmal loss, hunched over lattes or imported or craft-brewed beverages wondering "what do we do next? Whosoever will lead us? We're lost in the wilderness! Help!?" We can stop feeling like we're shuffling though a short deck of possible saviors - and coming up short.

Here's where that opportunity thing comes in. We have an opportunity to change the way we think about progressive causes, about liberal politics, and about our leadership. And that leadership -- it's not who you think it is. It's not the next candidate, or our last President (though we still love him, want him back, and would do pretty much everything short of, well you know, to get that).

It's you and me.

We have lost our tradition of organizing. We've forsaken the passionate argument at the pub in favor of phone calls from strangers, and the community ties that have held together our coalition for damned near a hundred years in favor of a few badly produced TV commercials.

More than that - we've lost the fire.

We need to take back the fire, the organization, the hope that defines American liberalism. We need to make people like you and me, our neighbors, and our friends into the new leaders of the progressive movement.

We need to take back liberal, and to do that, we need to be our own leadership. Instead of spending the next four years wondering who our next candidate will be, let's choose him or her. Let's do our own research, write our own letters, make up or own minds.

And you know why we can? Opportunity. Here we go. Let's not waste this chance.

Posted by Drew at 10:39 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Commentary files . . .

Dammit, we want our parking fines!

If you live in the rest of the you probably don't give a damn . . . but if you live in D.C., or New York - you probably consider it a scandal that Diplomats not only park wherever the hell they please, but also that their governments never bother to pay the fines.

Well, for those of you who do - there may be justice on the way.

Congress has apparently added a provision to the omnibus spending bill that will deduct outstanding parking fines from foreign aid packages - sort of restitution to the diplomatic cities for having to deal with diplomatic drivers . . .

New York City, which houses the United Nations, would stand to recover about $195 million from about 200 countries, New York's senators said."It is simply outrageous for these individuals to park illegally and blatantly ignore paying their parking tickets. New Yorkers face severe penalties if they do this and so should diplomats," Sen. Charles Schumer, a New York Democrat, said in a statement.

Lauded by the locals - it's sure to make us even more popular in the diplomatic community.

Posted by Drew at 8:06 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Foreign Relations files . . .

The Reign of Goss the Impaler

Two more top spies are out over at the CIA, and the reign of Goss continues.

Really, it's not a purge. Well, it is, but . . .

What the hell is going on over there anyway? The two latest victims are apparently the chiefs of the EU and Far East divisions of the already troubled intelligence agency's Directorate of Operations - the black-hat-sneaking-around-in-the-dark spies of dime novels and bond movies.

I'm not sure that even one of Q's oh-so-clever toys could get them out of this one . . .

Posted by Drew at 7:48 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the The Intelligence Quotient files . . .

November 24, 2004

Washington Has a Governor

So after an extended recount, Washington State finally has a new Governor. Republican Real Estate Mogul Dino Rossi wins it by a mere 42 votes. That's 42 out of 2.8 Million votes cast - in case you're wondering, and I know you are - thats a margin of just 0.0015%.

Yup, in Republican speak, that's a mandate.

Posted by Drew at 7:10 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Local Politics files . . .

Tom Don't Want That Job

Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack says he doesn't want to be DNC Chair.

So who cares? Well, Harry Reid, the new Senate Majority leader had intimated that he like Vilsack for the chairmanship - so there's that. And, well, it leaves the possibility open that the popular Iowan will make a run for it in 2008. Looks like that race may already have begun - but as far as governors go - my money's on Mark Warner of VA.

Posted by Drew at 1:54 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Democrats files . . .

They'll be back . . .

The House will be back next month to deal with the Istook mess.

At issue is a provision that allows congressional oversight of tax returns - meaning that in it's strictest interpretation, the amendment to the omnibus spending bill could allow Appropriations Sub-Commitee chairs to look at individuals tax returns. There were, obviously, some privacy concerns there.

Posted by Drew at 9:24 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the In 'Da House files . . .

November 23, 2004

He Didn't Do It

Sec Def Donald Rumsfeld says he didn't stop intel reform. Ok Don. We believe you. Really, we do.

Except for all those people who say that the the Defense Department blocked it. Wait, Don? Don't you head up the Defense Department?

Yeah, I thought so.

Posted by Drew at 4:26 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the The Intelligence Quotient files . . .

As Giants Fall

Well, we've already lost Tom Brokaw. Now, Dan Rather is stepping down. The not-so-old grey men of network news are stepping down, leaving us with a Canadian a crop of young bucks raised on the tradition of street level morning shows, Fox News, and InfoGraphics.

Of course, one could pretty clearly argue that nightly network news shows were hemorrhoid cream commercialed to death long ago - but there's still the history people. The history.

Posted by Drew at 10:35 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the The Media Conspiracy files . . .

And you thought Ohio was bad . . .

Well compared to Ukraine, Ohio seems all settled and done. No, wait, Ohio is all settled and done. Ukraine on the other hand, is kinda a mess.

Yesterday's elections in the former Soviet nation are in question - with the pro-wester opposition claiming victory, despite the "official results". The opposition leader, who's name I can't even begin to spell, but luckily can cut and paste, Viktor Yushchenko, claims that there was rampant and wide spread fraud. And unlike Nader, Baddkdfjalskfjda and whoever else is demanding recounts in Ohio, a lot of people agree that the Ukraine elections were all wrong.

Posted by Drew at 10:28 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Foreign Relations files . . .

November 22, 2004

Oops. No, Really. Oops.

Don't know where he got it, but Atrios has a really charming photo of our esteemed leader.

Not that I can really comment on it. I'm told that I was married with the same, um, sartorial error.

Posted by Drew at 10:03 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Um, Dubya files . . .

Educational Air Bag Warnings

God, I love subtle subversive behavior.

In this age of, well - lets call it religious enlightenment, because it's not really very nice to call it close-minded fear of the modern world - a certain group of folks are all about putting warning stickers in text books. To paraphrase: "Watch out, reality may not jibe with our particular religion's view of the world!"

Luckily, someone has provided some some stickers for the rest of us, in case our local school-board has decided to, um, help out.

Posted by Drew at 9:50 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Arts and Craftiness files . . .

He got 'lected again, he must be good . . .

Wow, the president's approval rating is up, which I find completely inexplicable.

See, he's still not doing anything in Iraq - 'cept for getting all those young rural and southern boys, and old reservists killed.

The economy still pretty much sucks.

Oh, and his new Cabinet looks an awful lot like the old one.

So exactly why has his approval rating gone up? Seems he got himself elected again. And now there's no opponent reminding the American people just how much he sucks. Apparently that's enough.

Posted by Drew at 2:53 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Um, Dubya files . . .

The View from the Front

I'm too lazy to go back and look, but I think maybe we've mentioned Kevin Sites' blog here before. Sites is a freelancer working for NBC in Iraq, his site has some haunting personal photos of the unit with which he's embedded . . . and he was with with the 3-1 Marines when the Mosque Shooting went down.

Now, he writes about the shooting from a personal POV.

Posted by Drew at 7:46 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Iraq files . . .

The Rumble in Santiago

In what's got to be a sign of our evergrowing popularity overseas, The President's trip to chile, well, got a little weird. Among the highlights:

... the Chilean government disinvited more than 200 guests to a dinner with the president rather than let the Secret Service screen them for weapons [ . . .] "Can you imagine someone like the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court having to submit to an inspection by gringo security agents in order to get into our own seat of government?"

And this true and wonderful gem of international relations:

Mr. Bush had to wade into a group of security agents to pull his lead Secret Service agent out of a shoving match with the Chilean police.

Gee, I always knew we were popular - I just didn't know we were that popular.

Posted by Drew at 7:34 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Foreign Relations files . . .

Evolution Schmevolution

An new Gallup Poll says that

"Only about a third of Americans believe that Charles Darwin's theory of evolution is a scientific theory that has been well supported by the evidence, while just as many say that it is just one of many theories and has not been supported by the evidence."

Political Wire has a little more.

And no, it's not just a lack of education on the subject:

Forty-five percent of Americans also believe that God created human beings pretty much in their present form about 10,000 years ago.

Which, as PW says, "explains an awful lot" about the changes we've seen here in the last few years.

Posted by Drew at 7:15 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Church and State files . . .

November 21, 2004

Whack-a-mole

Political highlight of the weekend - Sen John McCain, repeating "Whack-a-mole" on Meet The Press.

MR. RUSSERT:  ... like one of the games if you hit it...

SEN. McCAIN:  Whack-a-mole.

MR. RUSSERT:  ...at the arcade...

SEN. McCAIN:  Yeah.

MR. RUSSERT:  ...it pops up someplace else.

SEN. McCAIN:  Whack-a-mole. 

He actually went on to call the omnibus bill "a Big Fat Turkey" and tore his colleagues a new one over the pork. McCain is back off the reservation. He also called for more troops in Iraq, contrary to the administration's policy.

Posted by Drew at 10:56 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Republicans files . . .

Everything but the kitchen sink . . .

. . . and maybe that too. The Congress passed the omnibus spending bill last night.

Passage of the $388 billion bill keeps the government from shutting down today, as well as contributes further to the ever growing national debt. But not to worry - everything in there is absolutely necessary - including the 15.8 Billion that Taxpayers for Common Sense have identified as, well, pork. Our personal favorite here at IJWTRI would have to be

2 million for the government to try buying back the former presidential yacht Sequoia. The boat was sold three decades ago, and its current owners say the yacht is assessed at $9.8 million

Can't you just see George in a blue blazer, white pants, and little white captains hat?

Posted by Drew at 7:40 AM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Buy Your Own Democracy files . . .

November 20, 2004

Stopping the Plastic Trees

In my sometimes maddening city, the Supes are planning to San Francisco Considers Plastic Bag Fee (AP)charge grocery stores 17 cents each for those nasty plastic sacks.

The idea, of course, is to encourage them not to use the ubiquitous bags, which often seem to end up blowing around, and catching in trees - creating the plastic trees you often see in poorer neighborhoods - but which I've never seen in San Francisco.

Being the wackjob liberal that I am, I usual haul this gigantic Timbuk2 bag the three blocks to the grocery. Or being the yuppified liberal trash that I am, have them delivered.

Posted by Drew at 8:27 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Local Politics files . . .

November 19, 2004

Brew Gone to the Snow

I'll be up in the mountains tomorrow, taking advantage of the fact that I live in California, and going skiing before Thanksgiving. That means I won't be posting much, if at all. Unless I really geek out on my phone.

Posted by Drew at 7:00 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Just Stoopid files . . .

It's the Bloggers' Fault . . . and a Delay Will Fix That?

By now you probably know how royally screwed up the exit polls were on November 2nd. If you haven't read the news stories, or seen them yourself, some friend has probably sent you a forwarded email, as full of cloak and dagger theories as it is of >> and email addresses of people you don't know. So what really happened?

The news organizations running the polls seem to be missing the point. Rather than really talking about why the poll results were so far off, they've opted to blame the blogosphere for misusing information they didn't understand.

Oh, and their proposed fix? delay release of the information.

Yeah, 'cause that'll make your data more reliable . . .

Exit polls are bullshit because:

A) People don't really want to tell you who the hell they voted for.

B) People who are gonna tell you want you to like them. They'll tell you what you want to hear.

C) They're wrong.

Posted by Drew at 3:44 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Election 2004 files . . .

More Voting Irregularities, or More Whining?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Continuing to whine about how the election was stolen will not help the Democrats, or the progressive movement, and we should all just stop.

However, there's some interesting data comming out of a UC Berkeley Study regarding the voting trends in Florida. Their analysis indicates that as many as 200,000 votes may have been incorrectly or fraudulently assigned to George W. Bush in the state where his brother Jeb is Governor.

Woops. Sorry 'bout that. We'll fix it next time. Now, where have we heard that before . . .

Posted by Drew at 1:57 PM -08:00 | link | TrackBack
From the Election 2004 files . . .

The California Republic

See, it says California Republic on our state flag, and while I'm sure that I would know what that meant if I had grown up here and been exposed to some state mandated "California History" lesson - I mostly just think it looks pretty cool on a tshirt.

But now that all these gee-wiz funny Blue Staters are depressed about losing, they all keep talking about us having our own country. I mean maybe they're not serious, but it's still pretty funny. This one showed up in my email to day.

Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals.

Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving you. California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us.

In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of the North East States, and the urban half of Ohio.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California.

In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then. God is going to give us the Pacific Ocean and Hollywood. In addition, we're getting San Diego. (Sorry, that's just how it goes.) But God is letting you have the KKK and country music (except the Dixie Chicks).

Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to need all Blue States' citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight in Falujah, just ask your evangelical voters. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.

So, you get Texas and all the former slave states, and we get the Governator and stem cell research. (We would love you to take Britney Spears off our hands, though. She IS from the south, right?) Since we get New York, you'll have to come up with your own late night TV shows because we get MTV, Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan O'Brien. You get... well, why don't you ask your people at Fox News to come up with something entertaining? (Maybe you should just watch Crossfire. That's a really funny show.) We wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.

Sincerely,
California

No idea what the provenance of it is - but thanks go out to E, and Tiffin & Co. Made me laugh. Not much other than hilario